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tareshannon
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Name: Shannon
Gender: Female
Interests: Asian culture, Finding new restaurants, Travel, Karaoke, Hittin' the Gym, Hanging with the roomies, Skipping Outside, Chilling at the Beach, Tormenting Middle Schoolers, Reading, Yogurt
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/15/2003
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| I'm reading Obama's Audacity of Hope right now. In the following passage from the chapter on Values, he explains how empathy has guided his politics. Something about it impressed and touched me... if only this value could be ingrained in our culture. Not necessarily in the way we side politically, but in the way we lived and interacted with others.
"A sense of empathy-- is one that I find myself appreciating more and more as I get older. It is at the heart of my moral code, and it is how I understand the Golden Rule -- not simply as a call to sympathy or charity, but as something more demanding, a call to stand in somebody else's shoes and see through their eyes.
Like most of my values, I learned about empathy from my mother. She disdained any kind of cruelty or thoughtlessness or abuse of power, whether it expressed itself in the form of racial prejudice or bullying in the schoolyard or workers from being underpaid. Whenever she saw even a hint of such behavior in me she would look me square in the eyes and ask, "How do you think that would make you feel?
But it was in my relationship with my grandfather that I think I first internalized the full meaning of empathy. Because my mother's work took her overseas, I often lived with my grandparents during my high school years, and without my father present in the house, my grandfather bore the brunt of much of my adolescent rebellion. He himself was not always easy to get along with; he was at once warmhearted and quick to anger, and in part because his career had not been particularly successful, his feelings could also be easily bruised. By the time I was sixteen we were arguing all the time, usually about me failing to abide by what I considered to be an endless series of petty and arbitrary rules -- filing up the gas tank whenever I borrowed his car, say, or making sure that I rinsed out the milk carton before I put it in the garbage.
With a certain talent for rhetoric, as well as an absolute certainty about the merits of my own views, I found that I could generally win these arguments, in the narrow sense of leaving my grandfather flustered, angry and sounding unreasonable. But at some point, perhaps in my senior year, such victories started to feel less satisfying. I started thinking about the struggles and disappointments he had seen in his life. I started to appreciate his need to feel respected in his own home. I realized that abiding by his rules would cost me little, but to him it would mean a lot. I recognized that sometimes he really did have a point, and that in insisting on getting my own way all the time, without regard to his feelings or needs, I was in some way diminishing myself.
There's nothing extraordinary about such an awakening, of course; in one form or another it is what we all must go through if we are to grow up. And yet I find myself returning again and again to my mother's simple principle-- "How would that make you feel?" -- as a guidepost for my politics."
Allowing a victory for someone else can sometimes mean a sacrifice for yourself. I wish I could practice that kind of humility.
So much went through my head as I was reading this Chapter, but it's hard to articulate. Ah well, that's just one thought for tonight.
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| I'm immune to goodbyes. It's a defense mechanism I've built into my brain (shannon= no heart) so that I don't have to waste time feeling sad when people leave. I don't know when this started, but I think it was sometime during college. I find it interesting (not funny or weird) when people ask me, "are you sad that so-and-so is leaving?" I feel confused because I think... am I supposed to be sad? I'm totally NOT sad. Well, I blame it on the fact that transience has somewhat become normal in my life. It's exciting to travel to a new place and experience new things! Maybe it would be a different story if someone were dying or going to jail. That would NOT be an exciting new adventure. Well, I guess dying would be, but it's sad because it's hard to keep in touch. Anyway...
My sister, bro-in-law and niece are moving to Texas for a year. I'm not really that sad. I'm only a little sad because it'll be harder to visit my niece. It's been SO fun having them 2 miles away this past year and seeing them throughout the week, but I feel like moving on is an important part of life. If you don't move on and experience changes regularly, it's kinda boring. Of course that doesn't have to come in form of geographic change, but for some people, that's what it takes. And for me, that's always something I'm going to be excited to support. I'm also not saying it's not okay to be sad. It is okay.
Conversely, I DO get very happy when I see someone that I haven't seen in a while. I am not immune to reunions. Let's get together sometime, I'll be really happy to see you!
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| My co-worker and I have a running joke that our place of employment, let's just call it "Bewlett Shackard" or "BS", is bad for our health and causes us to overeat (aka bing on junk food). It's not uncommon to turn to eating as a form of comfort or to chocolate, candy or chips to relieve stress or when you're bored (thus the phenomena of obesity raging in America). It's totally bad and everyone knows it, but for some reason... inside the cubicle and after weeks of 40 hour days and unsalted, unbuttered popcorn... one just gets desperate.
Weekends and working from home usually saves me from the junk food eating culture of BS. After a good weekend, I was feeling tip-top this morning when I was deciding whether to bring a snack to work. "Will I even be hungry? Should I bring some cheese crunchies? Naw, too unhealthy, I guess I'll bring a peach." Skipping out the door, I was in high spirits. Upon entering the BS doors, my posture changed as I assumed my position in my cubicle for the next 3 hours. By 11am, I'm ready for my peach, apparently the 1 serving of organic oatmeal couldn't last me til lunch, oh well, 30 calories later, I'm good to go. Lunch time! Consisting of beef barley soup and a spinach salad, the easy to digest, high in fiber meal still met my nutrition requisites. World: "Wow, Shannon, not bad!" Me:"Yes yes, it's only Monday." Then, around 2:30pm and the reason for this entire post... I start craving those cheese crunchies that I rejected this morning and the need for chocolate becomes ever so immense. What is it about this place that causes junk food cravings? Why is it that empty caloried items that I shun at the grocery store seem so appealing? Is it the fact that for 8 (ok, 7.5) hours a day I am stuck between 3.5 walls staring into my 17" monitor? Is it the frustrating emails I get from other BS employees who surprisingly graduated higher universities and have been employed longer than I've been alive? I am so besides myself, that I actually am myself. All I know is, I need a snack. Although I often frown upon those who visit the vending machine, I decide, eh, why not? I scour my purse and drawer for change only to come up with $0.70. Shoot, that won't buy me peanuts (or anything else for that matter)! My eyebrows furrow as I stare that the $5, 18 pennies, 1 susan b. anthony, and 3 Yuan in my possession. %@^(! The vending machine doesn't take $5 bills, 18 pennies is 2 short of anything useful, but my Yuan are the exact same size as a US quarter!! heehee, I decided to try the Yuan just for kicks, but the vending machine is pretty smart and spits the coin back out. I look lovingly into the plexiglass at the peanut M&M's and ChexMix. Please Susan B. Anthony... don't let me down!! Hoorah! My worst fears vanished as the metal spring began rolling and the same science that rejected my Chinese Yuan worked in my favor for the mid-afternoon snack (by this time its like 3:15pm) that got me through the rest of the day! <-- run-on sentence. I just hope that coin wasn't a collector's item.
Every job has it's cons and while I'm thankful to be employed, I still blame the extra calories I consume on BS. Perhaps I can think of a new plan to keep the snacking to a minimum. Things that have worked in the past: sunflower seeds, ice water, tea, flavorless popcorn, dried fruit, 1 calorie mints, taking walks. Any other ideas? | | |
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I've posted pictures to FB, so I'm not documenting all that here, but some of the highlights from the weekend were the times I got to just hang out with Candy. We ran a lot of errands and were constantly driving from place to place (which I learned is a Norcal norm), but we just chatted about life, joked and connected. The morning of the wedding, we were somehow both wide awake around 5am and while I was happy we didn't oversleep, I was secretly cursing the redbull I had the night before. Actually, it was no secret... that was not my best idea! Anyway, while the other BMs slept, Candy and I ran a couple errands and went on a search for a breakfast joint that was open at 6am. Starbucks came to our rescue with tall skinny lattes and mochas :D Oh heavens, I'm loving the coffee way too much these days. Waking up at the ungodly hour became a blessing in disguise as we we just got a few hours to hang out and joke about brown cows and chickens and what not (secret girl stuff that i can't share with you).
After getting all pretty and running a little late to the church... hey, 'no bride, no wedding', we weren't too worried about the time... we got to the church and threw on her dress. I mean, literally just threw it on, each BM had a different job-- zipping the back of the dress, helping her w/ shoes, securing the veil... etc. In about ten minutes we fixed a shoe, applied mascara to the Mother of the bride, swirled on a BMs makeup, touched up the jr. bridesmaids makeup, threw the bride's outfit together and even had time to say a prayer. Somehow bringing all of the craziness to God's feet is so humbling. God proved to be faithful in bringing everything together so perfectly. From the perfect weather to the families being happy and at peace to the logistics of the day coming together... months of preparation and God's grace allowing Candy to walk down the aisle! I was overwhelmed by God's goodness as we prayed... dude, I didn't want to cry (can't smear the perfect makeup). Anyway, after all the Superman, Jurassic Park music... I couldn't hold the tears in when I saw Candy start with the waterworks!! Shoot, didn't hide enough tissue in my bouquet (I recommend at least 3 to all you M.O.H's out there. 1 for yourself, 1 for the bride, 1 for the GROOM!).  I was proud to stand next to Candy on Saturday and extremely honored to be called her best friend. I'm proud of learning how to put together a hanbok, the traditional Korean dress. It's trickier than you think!! It was a relief to finally give my toast that was stressing me out a bit... and it was the most fun to dance the night away and celebrate through dance with a ton of really fun people. I told Candy that her wedding gets Best Dance Floor ever. The DJ was awesome and I've never seen this many guests at an Asian wedding get on the dancefloor haha... totally awesome.
I'm genuinely very happy for Candy and Tim because they are a terrific couple who seek to honor God in their relationship and their lives. I've been there throughout the duration of their courtship and they've been through good and bad... I hope to stay great friends with them and keep witnessing their exciting love story! Let's go travel somewhere fun together !!
Anyway, being an M.O.H. is a huge honor and tons of fun! I'm exhausted, but I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. | | |
| Love is a battlefield, war shapes your core. Selective memory weakens the threat. A glance, a laugh, reminds; you can't forget. Then sleep washes the memories ashore.
On another note, Check out Jordin Sparks new song, " Battlefield"
Caring is creepy, it certainly scares me outta my wits. Walls up, risk abounds, and all confidence shatters in a mound, when finally returned in a smile shared.
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